Geri ggsteele at gte.net
Sat Jun 11 09:15:59 PDT 2005

Thanks for the funnies, Steven!


----- Original Message ----- 
From: Steven 
To: ron at cobi.biz ; Forest Grove local interests list 
Sent: Saturday, June 11, 2005 9:11 AM
Subject: [Grovenet] FOR ALL LEXOPHILES


1. A bicycle can't stand alone because it is  two-tired.

2. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead  giveaway).

3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

4. A backward poet writes inverse.

5. In democracy  it's your vote that counts; In feudalism, it's your count
that votes.

7. A chicken  crossing the road is poultry in motion.

8. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.

9. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

10. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat

11. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

12. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

13. A  grenade thrown into a kitchen in  France would result in Linoleum

14. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

15. Local Area Network in  Australia: the LAN down under.

16. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

17. Every calendar's days are numbered.

18. A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours and 'taint mine.

19. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

20. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

21. A plateau is a high form of flattery.

22. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at

23. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

24.  When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

25. Those who jump off a Paris  bridge are in Seine.

26. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd

27. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

28. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

29. Acupuncture is a jab well done.

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