[Grovenet] Driving Help Needed

[Ron D'Eau Claire]

Allen used the word "argue". 

You make good points. It makes it easier on most kids to have an outside
authority figure provide input, which is why I suggested a stop by the local
Police Department for a talk with one of the officers there. After all,
these are the very guys the boy will need to interact with if they have any
issues with his choices on the road <G>. 

I don't know about Forest Grove, not having raised children there, but the
cops in my home town of about 15K people and the cops in the similar-sized
town where I raised my daughter all went out of their way to know the kids,
especially the teenagers. There's nothing like knowing someone by name to
reduce tensions without losing authority. 

This is a life-and-death situation, little different from the kid handling a
loaded assault rifle in a crowd. It's very important to take whatever
actions are needed to make sure that the kid lives to become 17 and that he
does so without becoming responsible for killing someone else with his
choices. 

Ron 




-----Original Message-----
From: grovenet-bounces at rdrop.com [mailto:grovenet-bounces at rdrop.com] On
Behalf Of allnutt
Sent: Monday, January 14, 2008 12:44 PM
To: Forest Grove local interests list
Subject: Re: [Grovenet] Driving Help Needed


I'll let Allen decide if his kid was 'arguing' as in, "I'm still going to do

it my way"
or 'discussing' as in, "But what about the merits of saving gas". I
interpreted his post as the kid was more discussing the merits, even if 
the discussion was continuing.
It is Allen's privilege as a parent to interpret and discipline as 
necessary.

I added my comments because this kid has been open to instructions in other 
situations and he does not strike me as one who recklessly disregards the 
potential for harm.

Since Allen originally asked for suggestions, I offer this advice.  Before 
you yank his driving privileges, I would go back to him and give him a face 
saving way of admitting that dad was right.  You could say, 'Hey son, you 
had some good arguments about saving gas the other day. While at a stop 
light is not be the time to turn off the engine what do you think are other 
times when you should?'  Then you are having an open ended discussion about 
choices and making decisions. His answers will tell if he is thinking 
defiance or trying to learn what is the right thing to do.

Katie




----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Ron D'Eau Claire" <ron at cobi.biz>
To: "'Forest Grove local interests list'" <grovenet at rdrop.com>
Sent: Monday, January 14, 2008 11:04 AM
Subject: Re: [Grovenet] Driving Help Needed


> But Allen said the kid argued with him and is still arguing.
>
> To me, that's the end of privileges, especially those that might harm 
> himself or others.
>
> It's critical that children learn to ask questions and equally 
> critical
> that
> they not confuse asking questions with rejecting the answers.
>
> Ron D'Eau Claire
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: grovenet-bounces at rdrop.com [mailto:grovenet-bounces at rdrop.com] 
> On Behalf Of Katie Allnutt
> Sent: Monday, January 14, 2008 10:37 AM
> To: Forest Grove local interests list
> Subject: Re: [Grovenet] Driving Help Needed
>
>
> In defense of Allen and his son I'd like to clarify that he is in the 
> learning stage and this is a perfect example of how kids learn to 
> drive.  They go with their parents, make a 'learning' mistake, get 
> corrected by the parent and go on. He doesn't need to have his license 
> or permit pulled, he just needs to be corrected.
> Even though Allen says he continued to argue, that is typical for
> kids to do even when they agree with what the parent is saying.
>
> From my interactions with this kid in the neighborhood and school, he 
> is a quick learner, he cares about doing things right (he was 
> attempting to save gas which is a good goal and he had some logic 
> behind his actions -he was under lights - even if it was slightly 
> flawed logic), and from what I have seen he would not recklessly 
> endanger himself or others.  In other words he is a good kid and he is 
> learning.  Life is beautiful.
>
> Katie
>
>
> _______________________________________________
> GroveNet mailing list
> GroveNet at rdrop.com http://www.rdrop.com/mailman/listinfo/grovenet
> 


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