[Grovenet] Fwd: Illegal Immigrants

[muriel Gordon]

ok loved this one!! some should follow! but not all...
keep um coming great entertainment!


Happiness keeps You Sweet,
Trials keep You Strong,
Sorrows keep You Human,
Failures keeps You Humble,
Success keeps You Glowing,
But Only God keeps You Going!

  ----- Original Message ----- 
  From: Katie Allnutt<mailto:allnutt at verizon.net> 
  To: Forest Grove local interests list<mailto:grovenet at rdrop.com> 
  Sent: Tuesday, October 28, 2008 2:14 PM
  Subject: [Grovenet] Fwd: Illegal Immigrants


  Tongue in cheek of course....

  Begin forwarded message:

  >
  >
  >
  >
  >
  >
  >         From the MANITOBA HERALD, Canada
  >
  >      A flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into  
  > Canada
  > has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased  
  > patrols to
  > stop the illegal immigration. The possibility of a McCain/Palin  
  > election is
  > prompting the exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they'll  
  > soon be
  > required to hunt, pray, and agree with Bill O'Reilly.
  >      Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of
  > sociology professors, animal rights activists and Unitarians  
  > crossing their
  > fields at night.
  >      "I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a
  > Hollywood producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red
  > Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota. The producer was cold,
  > exhausted and hungry. He asked me if I could spare a latte and some
  > free-range chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left. Didn't  
  > even
  > get a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?
  >      In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected  
  > higher
  > fences, but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing  
  > speakers that
  > blare Rush Limbaugh across the fields. "Not real effective," he said.
  > "The liberals still got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so much  
  > they wouldn't
  > give milk."
  >      Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet
  > liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station  
  > wagons,
  > drive them across the border and leave them to fend for themselves.  
  > "A lot
  > of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions," an Ontario  
  > border
  > patrolman said. "I found one carload without a drop of drinking  
  > water. "They
  > did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though."
  >      When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border,
  > often wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives.  
  > Rumors
  > have been circulating about the McCain administration establishing
  > re-education camps in which liberals will be forced to shoot wolves  
  > from
  > airplanes, deny evolution, and act out drills preparing them for the
  > Rapture.
  >       In recent days, liberals have turned to sometimes-ingenious  
  > ways of
  > crossing the border. Some have taken to posing as senior citizens  
  > on bus
  > trips to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a  
  > half-dozen
  > young vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration  
  > authorities began
  > stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizen passengers  
  > on Perry
  > Como and Rosemary Clooney hits to prove they were alive in the '50s.
  >       "If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence  
  > Welk
  > Show, we get suspicious about their age," an official said.
  >       Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants  
  > are
  > creating an organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan
  > Sarandon movies.
  >
  >      "I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy
  > just can't support them," an Ottawa resident said. "How many
  > art-history and English majors does one country need?"
  >
  >
  >
  >
  >

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