A Prayer for a 955i

It all started innocently enough. Billy Hutchinson (then sixkill@swbell.net, now defunct) sent a posting to the WetLeather mailing list, plugging his own new website http://www.sixkill.com (again, now defunct). One of the blog topics on his site that day was "A prayer for a 955i". I replied to the list with the first stanza below- the rest... just happened.


Dean Woodward
Lord, won't you buy me, a 9-5-5-i,
my friends all ride sportbikes, and ask why don't I?
The chicks all laugh at me, won't go for a ride,
So Lord, won't you buy me, a 9-5-5-i,

Bill Rockoff
Lord, won't you buy me, a nine ninety-six?
My Gixxer won't cut it, with WetLeather chicks.
I love them Ducatis, but I sure ain't rich,
So Lord, won't you buy me, a nine ninety-six.

Steve Gross
Oh Lord won't you buy me, a big R 12 C?
Don't care if girls like it, I'm gettin' it for _me_
It's big and its heavy, it ain't a Har-ley,
So Lord, won't you buy me, a big R 12 C?

Steve 'Ash' Peltier
Oh Lord won't you buy me, a red VTR?
Duck's are far too spendy, we all know they are.
Honda-Twin power brings my wheel up far,
So Lord won't you buy me a red VTR?

Marguerite Storbo
Lord, won't you buy me a brand new M4?
I ride with Ducatis, they all slam the door
Prove that I'm faster, another eye-tie on the floor,
So Lord, please buy me a brand new M4?

Tim Surdyk
Lord, won't you buy me, a new ThunderAce?
Yamaha won't bring 'em in, I can't find a trace.
My YZF's great, but a new one'd be nice,
So Lord, won't you buy me a new ThunderAce?

Pat Loughery
Oh Lord, won't you buy me a green-framed SS?
I know they're so rare you should not ride them wet
But Lord, they're so gorgeous, by far they're the best
I'd show off that rare old 750-SS

Jack Tavares
Oh lord, wont you buy me a trip to a CLASS,
the bike that I ride, is still pretty fast,
my friends have the latest, but alac and alas
they still think they need more to go really fast.

Keith Underdahl
Lord, won't you buy me some flat black spray paint
My bike is all road rashed, so pretty it ain't.
Worked hard on my Beemer, you know I'm a saint,
So Lord, won't you buy me some flat black spray paint.

H. Marc Lewis
Oh Lord, won't you buy me a brand new R1?
I need a good track bike, on track-days to run,
Down the straight at 160, I'd sure have some fun,
Oh Lord, won't you buy me a brand new R1.

Sandra Whitney
Oh lord, won't you buy me some carbs for the 'Fant,
My friends tried to fix them, but somehow they can't,
My Beemer's nor running, I'm starting to rant,
So lord, won't you buy me some carbs for the 'Fant.

Oh lord, won't you buy me a 650 SV
My honey just got one and now she outrides me,
My bike is so slow, I can't reach nominal DoD
Oh lord, won't you buy me a 650 SV

Rick McKee
Oh Lord, won't you buy me, a new Hy-a-boos?
I need tons of torque, to haul my fat caboose,
A twist of the wrist, will make my bowels loose,
Oh lord, won't you buy me, a new Hy-a-boos?

Billy Hutchinson
Lord, wontcha send me a Hawk GT book?
My valves need adjustin', I've got a dumb look.
Tried to re-jet her and my legs were cooked,
so Lord, wontcha send me a Hawk GT book?

Steve Aarnio
Oh Lord, won't you buy me a ZX-9R?
My friends all say, "Hey, that bike's to darn fast."
But Blue is so pretty, the best color by far.
Oh Lord, won't you buy my a ZX-9R.

Jeff Earls
Lord, won't you buy me, a new R-GS,
other bikes pale when the road turns a mess,
all around use, for me that'd be best,
So Lord, won't you buy me, a new R-GS?

Alan Fleming
Lord, won't you buy me some more motor oil.
My gixxer won't crank and leaks on the soil.
But its mine and its paid for, for that I am thrilled.
Now I just have to replace the stuff it just spilled.

Stephen Wilcox
Oh lord, won't you buy me, an old Montjuic
That orange and that silver, it all is so sleek
The sound of that "muffler" it ain't for the meek
So lord, won't you buy me, an old Montjuic

Oh lord, won't you buy me, an old Montjuic
The curve on the dyno, is sure has a peak
I'm sure that I'll ride it, every day of the week
So lord, won't you buy me, an old Montjuic

Jonathan Espenschied
Oh Lord, won't you buy me a Hi-Vis 'Stich
My vest slaps me and my chaps make me itch,
I need a style change from fringe-whipping kitch,
Oh Lord, won't you buy me a Hi-Vis Ae-ro-Stich.

Brett Parker
Oh Lord, won't you buy me a two stroke TZ?
Finding spare parts is simple you see?
Riding them fast is so damn easy,
Oh Lord, won't you buy me a two stroke TZ.

Tom Deitrich
Oh Lord, won't you buy me a new 'Lectra Glide,
My friends all want squid bikes, but that ain't my style.
The Glide'd make me happy on cross country rides,
So lord won't you buy me a new 'Lectra Glide.

Matt Breen
Oh Lord, won't you buy me a K-12 -RS,
The yel-low one's fine Lord, but red would be best,
Its pur-ty, its ger-man, my prayers are ex-pres-sed,
So Lord, won't you buy me, a K 12 RS

Dave Tharp
Oh Lord, won'tch buy me an Indian Chief,
My friends all ride Harleys, they're giving me grief.
I know you can do it, it's my fondest belief,
So Lord, won'tch buy me an Indian Chief.

Oh Lord, won'tch buy me an Indian Chief,
This pile of a Harley is giving me grief.
I leave it outside to be stole by a thief,
So Lord, won'tch buy me an Indian Chief.

Dean Woodward
Lord, won't you buy me, a green KLR?
It's great to commute on, more fun than a car.
With Givis mounted on it, it'll take me quite far,
So Lord, won't you buy me, a green KLR?

Brian Poppe
Oh Lord, won't you buy me, a night on the ground
The GATHER is coming, please don't let me down
I might get too drunk, to find the next round
So Lord, won't you buy me, a night on the ground

The web blog snippet that started it all:

A SMALL PRAYER...

Dear God, Santa Claus, Allah, Buddha, (insert respective deity here)

I've been a good boy, for the most part. I try to do the right thing most of the time, I give to homeless people and I usually clean my plate. My room is a little messy, but I'll remedy that if it's an issue. I'm kind to animals and children, and I feel really guilty every time I curse or watch a dirty movie. (Ok, I feel guilty about the cursing.)

Please, please send me a 955i. I have realized with great certainty that I will die if I don't get one of these, and I presently do not have the money for one and won't for some time. So, please, exercise some of that supernatural power that you wield and I promise to observe all of your holy days in sincere demonstration, by riding wheelies up and down the street and dragging my knee like a massive poser. This is my destiny, so I leave it to you. Please help,

-Billy, Imperial Grandmaster of All Things Funky.
posted on 5:16:41 PM