i thought it might be fun to write some autobiographical
  sexual confessions today. it was. here they are.

  warning, young sex stories are to follow. im not going to make you read
  them if you dont want to....
  --------------------------------------------------------

   the first memory i have of my sexuality is from when i was very young.
i dont know how young i was, but i was able to talk. i remember my mother
telling me that if i wanted to keep my hand in my pants, i would have
to go to my room. i wasnt told to not touch myself, only that if i
was going to do so it would have to be in my room. i recall the
apparent injustice of it, and my confusion, and that even pleading did
not change the decision. 

   my second memory is of when i learned the word penis. i had been
bathing and the shampoo had terribly irritated my urethra. the
doctor kept calling it my penis and thats when the word really
first began to sink in.  shortly after that i was able to call it by 
the proper name, my penis, when i zipped it up in my pants zipper.
i cried and cried to my mother how it made my penis hurt when i got it
caught in my zipper.

   i also have an early memory of peeking at my mother through
the keyhole in the bathroom door. actually, what i remember is
getting caught by my father. i denied it, but there was
a pretty strong case against me, and i got in some kind of trouble.

   my most traumatic early sexual memory is, without a doubt,
the time my sexual partner was burned up in a fire. i had a big
teddy bear which i liked to hump. i must have been 6 or so. i 
remember kissing and humping and hugging that bear. eventually
a hole was worn in its crotch. my father used that as an excuse
to get rid of what he undoubtably saw as trouble. when he was
burning trash one dark autumn night he took the opportunity to 
destroy my so beloved bear. the saddest young memory i have is when 
that bear burst into flames, quickly burned up, and it's ashes, like
coals, glowing and red, blew out into the field in the dark. i recall the
red, consumed body breaking up, its dismembered limbs and head
going their seperate ways on the flat, empty expanse of a
iowan cornfield. i sat crying into the night, wind in my eyes, 
grieving the loss of my first lover.

   i remember the first time i came. i didnt really have any
idea how to masturbate yet. i fucked my pillow, rubbing my hips
back and forth. after awhile i felt a tremor rise in my cock
and the astonishment of feeling a very thick and sticky liquid,
proto-cum, spurt out of my cock. it was very much unlike ordinary
cum; it was a strange, oily substance. i knew i was on to something
very big.

   i didnt learn to masturbate properly and efficiently until
a couple of years later. that was during a hot summer vacation
when we visited with my aunt and cousins. i think i was 11 or 12.
my cousin matt brought out his hoard of playboys and a big bottle
of johnsons baby oil. i was dumbfounded as to what he intended.
he oiled up his hairy young cock, and grabbed a magazine, offering
the bottle to me. i must have looked at him blankly, confused.
i remember him saying 'oh come on you cant tell me you've never
done this before'. i followed his lead, oiled up my cock, and began to
stroke it. its was orders of magnitude more pleasurable than
my pillow method, and we shots our little wads a large but finite
number of times that night.

   one day that summer [5 words deleted] my cousin sarah
and i went swimming in the creek. soon we had our clothes off and 
were comparing who had the hairiest bush. [one sentenced deleted] 
my cock was rock solid, and sarah was very interested in it. she 
was some years younger than me - she didnt even have any pubic hair. 
i remember the thin, fine hairs on her legs extended up to her
mound, but there was no pubic hair proper. she rubbed my cock
on her outter vulva but it never entered into her. later that
day, we laid in an upstairs bed, and dry humped fully clothed
for awhile. i vaguely recall putting my newfound knowledge of
lubricants to use later that night, greasing up my dick and shooting
adolescent cum thinking about fucking little sarah.

   i didnt actually lose my virginity til i was 14. it was with my 
first girlfriend, christine, that i first had penetrative sex. we had
been going out for a few months, kissing, touching and dry humping on 
her couch into the early night. i remember going with her one night
to a sock hop, and my amazement and surprise when i came in my pants
while we were slow dancing. she was a blonde, short, big tits. she had
humped before. i was a virgin. she popped my cherry.

   the day we first did it, she came over afterschool. it was a windy
fall afternoon, i remember leaves blowing into my room through the
open window, and have always associated fall leaves with sex since then. 
i had bought some condoms, and we were all set go. i thought you were
sposed to unroll the condom before you put it on, which didnt work very 
well. it covered only the top few inches of my cock, the rest of it
hanging down like an old fashioned nightcap might droop from your head.
it seemed dubious to me, but i was eager anyway. we humped
for awhile, and i came real happylike. i asked her if she
came too and she claimed she did - but she was just 'real quiet'
about it. she lied, im sure, but it seemed more believable then.

   we tried oral sex but it was destined to be an ill-fated
attempt. i licked her pisshole and inside her vagina,
which couldnt have been very arousing. she was all teeth on
my cock, i remember squirming in pain but pretending to enjoy it.
when she finished, after an arbitrary amount of time, there was
a very red, very sore mark on my dick, like the break in
the skin of an apple youve biten into that reveals the pattern of your 
teeth. we didnt really try oral sex ever again after that day.

   christine was a good hump tho. she used to come over all the time
afterschool, and we would fuck all afternoon. her mother would
invariably call, asking if i had seen christine, and i invariably lied
that i had no idea where she was, as i sat caressing her teenage body.

   evetually we decided it would be neat if chris stayed the night with
me, sneaking back in the early morning to her bed at home. chris wrote
about it in her diary - she called it the Big Night. so on the
big night she rode her bike over to my house and came up the steps that led
to the backdoor, which led into my room. she tapped on my window
a few minutes after midnite. i let her in, we kissed, and she
got undressed and crawled into bed. i recall squeezing her tits,
and stroking her hairy little cunt, and she got so wet. 

  we were just about ready for some humping when the telephone began 
to ring.  i decided i better be the one to answer it, so i told chris to 
get dressed because within moments lights would be going on, and i knew 
it was her mom. i faked sleepy puzzlement when her mom asked me if i
had seen chris. to make a kinda long story short, chris sneaked out my
backdoor, and down the stairs (i was sure her steps were audible to my mom
and sister, like a tell-tale heart, but they didnt seem to hear them),
hopped on her bike and pedalled her little ass home. 

   i got off real easy, after my mom and chris' mom talked about the
diary entries regarding the Big Night, i was able to subtly manipulate
my mother into trying to convincing me that chris counldnt possibly be seeing
some other boy. "no, no, there _can't_ be another guy" i said in
an unconvinced and panicked voice, playing along for her. she was misled.
my mother undoubtably still thinks christine went to see some other guy
that night, which amuses me.

   christine didnt get off so easy. she didnt show up to school for
at least a week. i never found out what happened to her but she looked
like she had lost major hitpoints since the Big Night. but soon we
were back to our afterschool humping and i had many more opportunities
to lie to her mom on the phone as we fucked into the schoolyear.

   one day  my sister brought one of her little friends over
afterschool. the girl was very pretty, she had very long hair,
down to her ass. i could describe her as a little lioness. she liked
me at least as much as i liked her, but i didnt know it. i remember
wrestling with her and that she scratched a long, red wound into my arm
with her sharp nails. she never came over again; it turned out
her and my sister began fighting with each other. she kept giving
my sister love letters to give to me, but my sister spitefully tore 
them to pieces and they all went undelivered. when she asked
my sister about me, my sister told her i hated her, and that i didnt
want to have anything to do with her. my sister told me this many years
later, after we moved to a different state, fleeing to evade the federal 
authorities who were perpetually one step behind my father. apparently
i still havent really entirely gotten over it. i have this feeling that
humping her would have somehow changed the whole course of my life,
which is unlikely i spose.

   the feds once made an appearance in my sexual history, even.
one day afterschool i was humping christine and the phone rang.
i answered fully expecting it to be her mother. instead, an
unamused man asked if he could speak to a mister james price.
i said this is mister james price speaking, as i fingerfucked
christine's little cunt. the man identified himself as a federal
agent at that point, and asked me if i knew i had several warrants
out for my arrest. 
 
   my first thought was 'oh shit, i knew i shouldnt have been
hacking on the milnet.' i looked out the window quickly, fully
expecting to see a phalanx of federal authorities moving in to 
make their arrest. but the street was empty, and i wouldnt be busted
by the federal, state and local authorities, led by phonecop pointmen,
until several weeks later. we talked about the warrants briefly, 
and soon the true nature of the situation became apparent:
i said 'oh, it is my father that you want. let me know if you ever find him.'
satisfied, he apologised and hung up, and i went back to humping
my first love.

james