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November 12, 2000


Kelly is in the dog house with me right now. She has had a variety of treats today, and yet behaved badly:

The problem we have here is that Kelly honestly believes that this is her due. She has only to ask, and it is hers. I'm sure this is partly a function of being a five-year old, but it also has to do with growing up in an affluent society. She has more toys now than I had in my entire life (thanks mostly to grandparents). I'm sure I had more toys than my parents ever had.

But it's hard to explain things like the Great Depression to a five-year old. In the end, with days like today, I just get frustrated, tell her she's being selfish, and let her know she's in the dog house for the rest of the day. Maybe someday we'll communicate more clearly, or she'll grow out of it. This sense of entitlement is not attractive.

Rereading the above, I can see that it might seem that I am catering to her sense of entitlement, but it isn't so. She has chores which she has to do, and the treats are usually clearly associated with doing her work. But I will admit that this is all part of fine-tuning our permissiveness...

Posted by dpwakefield at November 12, 2000 02:52 PM