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December 17, 2000

Keeping Us Honest

I forgot to relate an incident with Kelly that happened last week. Moreover, I don't remember if I recorded here a still earlier incident, when Kelly and I were walking, so I'll relate them in order:

A couple of months ago I was walking around the block with Kelly, and I decided to see how familiar with her neighborhood she was. I told her, with about one side of the block left, that I wanted her to try to get home by herself. "Don't worry, I'll be right beside you, and if you need help deciding, I'll give it to you." So we walked onwards, with her making hesitant decisions to go forward at every court and circle.

Finally we are nearing home, when Kelly spots 'the neighbor lady' from next door, whom Jean does not get along with. Kelly calls out "are you are neighbor lady?" The neighbor replies "yes I am, Kelly." Whereupon Kelly pipes up and volunteers in a very cheerful voice, "my Mommy hates you!" I got to sit through the ensuing conversation, acting polite and cheerful, and when we got home I told Jean about it. Her reaction was not sympathetic. She simply said, "well, I do hate her!"

Flash forward to last weekend. Jean and Kelly and I are driving home from the grocery store. Some fool swerves in front of us oblivious to any danger he is causing. Jean says under her breath "asshole." Now, Kelly, bless her heart, has the sharp hearing of a five-year old, not yet damaged by years of rock music. Sitting in her car seat in the back of the car, she immediately begins to yell, in her best sing-song voice:

"Asshole-smasshole! Asshole-smasshole! Asseysmassy-basshole!"

Jean leans forward covering her face, laughing and saying "what have I done?" I laugh heartily, and think justice is done.

Epilogue: This Saturday, on our way back from the grocery store, Jean and I are talking about Vertical Limit, Wages of Fear and emotionless characters, when she mentions the female lead in WoF, about whom she mouthes the word bitch to me, apparently remembering our little recorder in the back seat. I turned to her and mouthed/singsonged asshole-smasshole, and she immediately cracked up. I laughed so hard that Kelly decided we were having a laughing contest, and she and I laughed most of the way home. Boy, are my ribs sore! "qbullet.smiley"

Posted by dpwakefield at December 17, 2000 09:02 AM