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January 11, 2001

Cleveland Rocks! Kelly Rolls (Her Head).

Another hit on the Napster parade last night, from an album I've always enjoyed (owned two different copies, as I recall), "You're Never Alone With A Schizoprenic".

This was one of Ian Hunter's solo albums. He's probably known better to many as the lead for Mott the Hoople, and singer of All the Young Dudes. But Cleveland Rocks still really does it for me.

After listening to this song in the dark kitchen hooked up to my iBook with a pair of headphones, I had the tune bouncing around in my head this morning as I drove Kelly to Bridgeport. So after awhile, I bust out with "All the little kids growing up on the skids are goin' Cleveland Rocks, Cleveland Rocks..." and so on. After a little bit more, Kelly pipes up with "no it doesn't, Cleveland is boring."

Well, I did time in Ohio, and let me tell you, of all the towns I visited for one reason or another, Cleveland does indeed rock. I saw John Prine there, Bonnie Raitt, Buckwheat Zydeco, Throwing Muses, They Might Be Giants, the list goes on and on. So by god, I wasn't going to let this go by "qbullet.smiley". I rattled off the list of musicians above and said, "so yes Kelly, Cleveland does rock."

Kelly then resorted to invention. "My friend Ashley is from Cleveland" (she's not), "and she thinks Cleveland is boring." So I explained to Kelly the statistical notion of sample bias. In this context, since the only people she knows from Cleveland have left Cleveland, she only knows people who think Cleveland doesn't rock. But the folks who stayed in Cleveland, whom she hasn't met, probably agree with me that Cleveland rocks!

Kelly insisted that Ashley thought poorly of Cleveland, so I said I'd ask Ashley why, the next time she came over. "You can't ask her, because she's shy." What if I reminded Kelly to ask her for me? "Just forget it." So I could see I'd backed her into a corner, and as we were approaching the school, I went into a fake panic...

"Where are we?" I said. "Is this Kid Connection?"

"No, Dad! This is Bridgeport."

"But aren't I supposed to be bringing you to the Kid Connection? I forget!"

Now smiling, "no Dad, it's regular school first."

"Whew! For some reason I forgot where I was supposed to be!"

So I let Kelly off the hook for inventing foes of Cleveland's rock-ness, but I just had to see how far she would go into her invented world. Once inside the school, Kelly lost all interest in Cleveland and ran to the cafeteria window.

Stolen shamelessly off of www.hunter-mott.com:

Cleveland Rocks
Three! Four!
Three! Four!
Three! Four!

(Bunch of Ah-ah-ah's here)

All this energy calling me
Back where it comes from
It's such a crude attitude
It's Back where it belongs
All the little kids growing up on the skids are goin'
Cleveland Rocks, Cleveland Rocks
Jumpin' (Jean) Gene genies, moody James Deanies goin'

Cleveland Rocks, Cleveland Rocks, Cleveland Rocks, Cleveland Rocks
Cleveland Rocks, Cleveland Rocks, Cleveland Rocks, Cleveland Rocks

Mama knows but she don't care
She's got her worries too
Seven kids and a phony affair
And the rent is due
All the little chicks with the crimson lips go
Cleveland Rocks, Cleveland Rocks
She's livin'in sin with a safety pin
She's goin' Cleveland Rocks, Cleveland Rocks, Cleveland Rocks, Cleveland Rocks

Cleveland Rocks, Cleveland Rocks, Cleveland Rocks, Cleveland Rocks

I got some records from World War Two
I'll play 'em just like me Grand dad do
He was a rocker and I am too
Oh Cleveland Rocks, Yeah Cleveland Rocks
So find a place
Grab a space
and yell and scream for more

Cleveland Rocks, Cleveland Rocks, Cleveland Rocks, Cleveland Rocks
Cleveland Rocks, Cleveland Rocks, Cleveland Rocks, Cleveland Rocks
Cleveland Rocks, Cleveland Rocks, Cleveland Rocks, Cleveland Rocks
Cleveland Rocks, Cleveland Rocks, Cleveland Rocks, Cleveland Rocks
Cleveland Rocks, Cleveland Rocks, Cleveland Rocks, Cleveland Rocks
Cleveland Rocks, Cleveland Rocks, Cleveland Rocks, Cleveland Rocks

(Bunch of Ah-ah-ah's here)

Three! Four!
Three! Four!
Three! Four!
Ohio

http://www.ohio.com/justgo/drew/docs/006507.htm

Posted by dpwakefield at January 11, 2001 02:44 PM