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January 26, 2004


What struck me in particular was there appeared to be no way out without traipsing round the whole store. It was like a theme attraction that had no exit but the gift shop, except that the whole thing was a gift shop.

squealy reacting to Ikea

The occasion of this bon mot was an article in The Morning News a few days ago. I'd already seen it on Slashdot, but it's pretty funny. It's a parody of those GameFAQ videogame walkthroughs, with a visit to Ikea as the game:

You start this world armed only with a UNIVERSAL FURNITURE-ASSEMBLY ALLEN WRENCH. This is the weakest weapon in IKEA: You will have to hit a person 16 times with it to kill them...

As you enter the main area, you will see an EKHARD oiled solid-oak dining sideboard. Quickly kick it apart to acquire the TABLE LEG WITH NAIL.

As you continue through the main SHOWROOM you will see groups blocking the walkways while chatting and others moving against traffic. These people should be killed immediately.

Posted by dpwakefield at January 26, 2004 06:48 PM