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January 28, 2004

With Great Power Comes Great You-know-whats

Okay, so I bought Baldur's Gate: Dark Alliance already. I used to play a lot of Dungeons & Dragons lo these many years ago, and BG has a rep as a fine adaptation of the pencil-and-paper-and-dice game to the console realm.

I managed to rip Kelly away from Simpsons: Road Rage for a few brief moments this evening to try out BG, and got a few minutes into the storyline. One of the non-player characters (NPC) was a tavern owner, who happened to be a woman dressed up like a refugee of I Dream of Jeannie. I'm honestly just listening to the spiel, and Kelly says, "Dad, why does she have such big you-know-whats?"

Well, I could have given her a quick answer, but it was a really good question. So I said, "I think we should ask your Mom." No, not copping out here, I wanted Kelly to hear the perspective of an intelligent adult woman. So while Kelly was explaining to Jean about the woman with 'freakishly large' bossoms, I was laying the groundwork of what the game was.

"So Phin, what kind of people play D&D?"


"Male nerds. So it's probably true that this game was written by a guy or guys..."

We went on from there, and discussed everything from evolutionary imperatives to shallow teenage boys. Gotta prep Kelly early for that first smiling nogoodnik! I was impressed with how long Kelly's attention held. And I was very happy that Jean was there to spell it out for Kelly from the viewpoint of a real woman, living in the real world. With luck, Kelly will grow up with enough self-esteem that she won't feel the need to buy a pair of great you-know-whats.

Oh, and when I used to play D&D, I knew at least three women who played in my various groups. Granted, they were usually the only woman, but no one ever pawed them that I recall...

Posted by dpwakefield at January 28, 2004 08:29 PM


Surely you mean "great BIG you-know-whats" ~ otherwise the implication is that you can't have great you-know-whats in other sizes.

Like mine. *ahem*


Posted by: Pascale Soleil at January 29, 2004 10:18 AM

This could be Umberto Ecco's new novel:

"Pascale's Great You-Know-Whats"

Posted by: Don Wakefield at January 30, 2004 08:20 AM

Correction. It's Eco, not Ecco.

This is a neat little link on the actual phenomenon which leads to the title of Eco's novel.

I leave it to Pascale to illuminate what her namesake if famed for...

Posted by: Don Wakefield at January 30, 2004 08:39 AM