Subject: Toys based on SF novels
From: Mister Skin < mrskin@mindspring.com>
Date: 1996/12/10
Message-ID: <58ijqn$rnr@camel0.mindspring.com>
Newsgroups: rec.arts.sf.written
My wife pointed out that there's a Star Trek Ken and Barbie action figure on sale this year (costs $75, but you know what they say about a trekkie and his money).
That got me thinking -- there's a lot of money out there in action figures based on novels as well as TV shows. Yet no one has tried this. To help the ever-financially-strapped SF publishers, I thought I'd present a few gift items based on SF novels that should prove profitable ... of course, the marketing for these products might have to be done a little differently ...
( * SNIP! * )
5) Announcing "Kajira" -- the doll for every little girl's most heartfelt fantasies!
Hey girls! Tired of all those politically correct dolls that are designed to get you interested in tiresome careers and wholesome activities! Well, don't worry, because Gorco Industries has just the doll for you - Kajira, the doll that's anatomically correct and politically incorrect!
The beautiful, lusciously curved Kajira doll will help you discover the true meaning of femininity! This doll is guaranteed to help you overcome all the negativistic, antibiological conditioning that all those nasty old teachers have been instilling in you from childhood!
Who cares about careers and studying and all that boring stuff! With
Kajira, you can learn about all the really important stuff, such as
driving boys wild with desire and making them want to have you as their
own, and serving them and giving them pleasure!
Kajira is a fully poseable doll -- whether she's kneeling, on all fours, or spreadeagled, she's designed to look exciting and provocative. Furthermore, unlike other, less desirable dolls, Kahira's legs move not just backward and forward, but apart from each other as well!
Kajira's lifelike skin has been piered in a number of exciting places, and she comes with a complete assortment of rings that can be placed in all of the places she's been pierced, as well as tiny chains you can attach to the rings ... and anything or anyone else you like!
Kajira's clothing consists of a single, skimpy piece of cloth that you can have hours of fun with, trying to cover up enough of her body to keep her from getting arrested (good luck!). She also comes with a complete assortment accessories, gear designed to help her master or mistress keep her fully aware of her female submissiveness -- whips, chains, gags, harnesses, hoods and ropes.
What's more, Kajira's accessories are specially engineered to fit on a Certain Other Doll -- B*****. (Asterisks used to protect Gorco from lawsuit by legal thugs hired by M*****.) Yes, you can take that obnoxious little PC B***** doll and place her in shackles and teach her the true meaning of feminity. Wants to go around being Gymnast B***** or Astronaut B***** or Hollywood B***** does she? Seeking to fill the hollowness of a life lived in negativistic, antibiological conditioning with the superficial pleasures of having lots of material goods and interesting work, is she? Thinks she's too good to be Burger Flippin' B***** does she? Thinks she's better than Sleazy Bar Lap Dancin' B***** does she?
You can show her the ropes. And the chains. And make her kiss the whip before you use it to teach her what a meaningless little female manikin she is, as M*****'s legal department writhes in impotent fury!
There are other exciting toys you can have with Kajira as well! Tarl, the Master Doll, comes with his own exciting leather outfit and a complete assortment of whips and chains that fit both Kajira and (just for laughs, you understand) him!
There's also the exciting Dungeon Playset that comes with a specially designed rack that will fully test the poseability of Kajira's arms and legs, as well as displaying her helplessly and fully for the lascivious attentions of whatever male dolls happen to be present. Shackles on every surface of the playset will allow you to display your full collection of dolls to their best advantage!
But wait -- the best is yet to come! How much would you expect to pay for Kajira, Tarl and the Dungeon Playset? $200? Think again. $100? Think yet again! $50? No way! The fact is that Kajira and her entire playset are free to all of the girls like you who are sufficiently free of negativistic, anti-biological conditioning to enjoy them!
All you have to do to get Kajira, Tarl and the Dungeon Playset is send us your name, address, and phone number, and the approximate date at which you'll turn 18! We'll handle the rest -- because we care!
Just remember, though -- Kajira and her playset are free, so you don't need Mom and Dad's permission to order them! In fact, it wouldn't be a good idea at all to tell them about it. They're so full of negativistic, antibiological conditioning that they just wouldn't understand. Let this be a little secret between you and Gorco!