Little Mole (second draft)
Clément Marot and Mark L. Irons
13 February 1999

    Little mole
    In your hole,
    Darkness hide.
 4  Why reside
    In this cell?
    When you're well
    Come with me.
 8  Soon we'll flee -
    No delays!
    Through long days
    Don't stay pent,
12  Resident,
    Hid away.
    End your stay;
    Let's go mine
16  Stone divine,
    Gems and ore.
    There is more
    Work to do.
20  Must you rue
    Hands that glow?
    Vanquish woe;
    Rather, dig -
24  Zag and zig -
    Tunnels deep.
    Darkness keep
    Cloaked your soul,
28  Little mole.


  1. This version conforms much better to the original poem's phase difference between semantic and rhyming groups.

  2. Line 6 doesn't fit the tone of the rest of the poem. Rather than actively exhorting recovery, it passively waits for it.

  3. Line 19 brings the Mohelmot work ethic into the poem. Work = mining = holy activity.

  4. "Rue" is a good word on line 20. It and line 21 are a reference to the "New Hymn" lines

    Let them not have pride but instead a soul
    That can see the shame of the hands that glow.

  5. Line 23 needs a more emphatic transition. It would be good if it could relate to "Hands that glow", as well.

Last updated 8 June 2000
All contents ©1999-2002 Mark L. Irons

Previous: First Draft ··· Next: Third Draft