Questions that people ask, and a few others for good measure.
Sections: Web site, tech, hair & beard, style, health, miscellaneous
Damn—I was so busy writing content I forgot to make it pretty!
Seriously, though, I don’t like gratuitous graphics and layout, so that’s why you won’t find them here. Also, I’m undoubtedly the person who’s spent the most time staring at this site, so it’s evolved to please me.
Have you considered writing a blog?
Yes. I’ve rejected the idea, for a number of reasons:
Can I use an image or text from your site?
Probably. Most of this site is under a Creative Commons license which allows noncommercial use with certain restrictions. Please read the full license before using anything. Also, check the copyright notice at the foot of the page containing the image or text to make sure that it’s not someone else’s work. If it is, you’ll have to contact the copyright holder directly.
Why haven’t you answered my email?
Unless a message is a specific question, it can take me weeks to respond. Or your message might have been filtered and deleted. See the contact information page.
Do you use IRC or instant messaging?
Nope. I prefer asynchronous communication.
Why don’t you have the plug-in du jour?
Do I need it to read RFCs? This reason isn’t enough.
How long have you had the long hair/beard?
I started letting the hair began growing out around 1987, the beard a few years later. They took about three years to grow to their maximum length.
How long do you want them to get?
They don’t get any longer than they now are.
Does your mustache get in your food?
Yes. If you’re fastidious, don’t watch me eat soup or an ice cream cone.
Do you shampoo your beard?
When I remember to, I grab some suds while I’m shampooing my hair and lather my beard too.
Are you a member of ZZ Top? / Are you in a band?
No.
Can I cut that thing?
Maybe. You must be willing to first take a general anaesthetic and let me alone with your naked body for a few hours... with a tattoo gun.
Around Glacier and/or Paul: Are you brothers?
If you look past the beards and long hair, you’ll find we don’t look much like each other.
Are you a hippie?
While I admire some of their ideals, that’s not how I live.
Are you a vegetarian?
No, I eat meat.
The bandana through your belt loop... does it mean anything?
No. Bandanas are handy, and a belt loop is a convenient place for one. I like how they look, too.
Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence, and I haven’t seen any.
No, seriously, what sign are you?
Okay, what’s your birth date?
If astrology were accurate, my sign should be obvious. Are you admitting it’s not?
Where’s your Harley?
You think I can afford one? Ha. I can’t even afford the insurance or gas.
Why haven’t you put fenders on your bicycle?
Never felt the need to.
Do you have a cold/allergy?
No, I always cough like this. Thanks for the concern.
Why are you so thin?
I don’t digest food well due to having cystic fibrosis.
What’s cystic fibrosis?
CF is a genetic disease that screws up the exocrine glands, which produce sweat and mucus. The consequences are decreased lung function, malabsorption, and in my case mild diabetes.
CF has a few benefits for me: my cholesterol level is ridiculously low, I’ll never be overweight, and decades of coughing has left me with good abs.
Would you like some of my extra pounds?
I’d take them if I could, but I’d just lose them.
Would you sell or trade any of your CDs/comics? Would you rip some of your music to MP3 and post it?
Sorry, no.
Where can I get one of those inflatable puffer kites from the 1970s?
Try online auction sites.
Last updated 18 June 2007
http://www.rdrop.com/~half/Personal/Life/FAQ.html
All contents ©1996-2003 Mark L. Irons
