From: hutch@hutch (Stephen Hutchison)
Date: Sat, 19 Sep 1992 01:13:06 GMT
Newsgroups: alt.pub.dragons-inn
Subject: [DQ] 'Raelf:  Share the Wealth

Character Time:

TrueSilver the Dragon, kidnapped by majorly evil undead-using insane
megalomaniac Dark Master.

SunStorm the shrunken Giant ex-paladin, soul sucked up by incredibly
ancient artifact of Traveller origin.  ShockWave the DiamondSword,
currently soul-bonded to SunStorm's body, getting to experience How the
Other Half lives.

Kadrys, incredibly ancient vampire, removed to a higher plane.

Valgar, recently freed-from-slavery warrior, finding out that Something
Weird and Hairy has happened to him.

Lancos Erredan, I'm Not Really a Ranger, having people in black armor
attack him for no Good reason.

William, a very troubled mage, discovering anew that he is once more a
Plaything for the Idiot Child Fate.

'Raelf, erstwhile Cosmic Surfer, who finds that fixing his broken board
is requiring much more work than he anticipated.

Oh, and Alita, woman of mystery in some ways, quite transparent in others.

Plus appearances from time to time by the supporting cast of
the Dragons' Inn (and Generica).

=============

'Raelf had gone surfing, in the early early early morning.  For a
long time.  It was now late morning.

+After a while he noticed that the sun was well above the horizon, and
+that he was using a lot of energy keeping his body warm.  He returned
+to shore, and dried off.  It was mid-morning already - he was expected
+back at the Inn by now. [...]

+He stepped inside.  Lancos and Valgar were seated at their usual table,
+discussing something.  Kadrys was nowhere to be seen, and Alita had not
+shown yet.  The foreshortened form of SunStorm was coming down the stairs,
+with an expression resembling that of a man discovering his first hangover.

+"Hey hi, dudes.  How's it doin?  Where's Kadrys?"  He waved to Serene,
who began to prepare the usual excessive amount of food for this walking
famine.  "Just fruit juice this morning, please," he called.

"Be back in a minute, gotta go check my stuff."  He bounded up the stairs,
went noisily into the common room, then came back down a few minutes later.

Sunstorm had his hands clasped around his head, covering his ears.
Valgar was rubbing his eyes, and Lancos was stifling a yawn behind one
hand.  'Raelf stopped and stared for a moment, wondering if they would
appreciate hearing about the Story of the Three Monkeys.

He moved to the table, navigating around the late breakfast/early lunch
crowd.  Serene followed, bringing food and drink, then departed.

"Tell me, o wise monkey," he said, sitting in his usual seat beside Lancos,
"Where's Kadrys gotten off to?"

"He's disappeared.  He left this note."

'Raelf examined the proferred parchment.  The handwriting could have
been Kadrys'; the phrasing was right.  So THAT was why he had been
practically ordered to leave, last night, by his future self.  Some sort
of paradox work going on.  He looked around.  The few things Kadrys had
owned were gone; the party property which he'd guarded was sitting in
its usual heap.  A small blue crystal sitting atop the heap proclaimed
casually, "This stuff is someone else's problem, don't worry about it."

Hah.  He dissolved the crystal back into Void.  An image was released, a
supercilious man in his fifties, trying to clear away the trash someone
had left.  'Raelf shrugged.

"Well, someone tried to move our stuff, and set my ward off."

Lancos looked at him curiously - oh, he HAD left some of the supplies
from yesterday here at the table - including, of course, SunStorm's
helmet.  Strange how that had slipped his mind.  The giant in question
groaned quietly to himself.

"Pardon me, but have any of you seen my head this morning?"

'Raelf choked on his food.  "Dude.  You left it on your neck."

"Oh.  Would one of you please remedy that oversight?  If this is
what being flesh-and-blood feels like, I'll do without, thanks."

"Hey, just drink this down, papa 'Raelf will make it all better."
The surfer poured him a mug of some liquid substance, which did
not look like what was in the pitcher he poured it from.  It was
a strange shade of ... red.  And it smelled funny.  Dubious, the
sword-giant quaffed the stuff.

And began to sweat.  But the pain was receding.  Replaced, for a
moment, by a profound sense of heat, and a sensation like his tongue
and the inside of his mouth had been mistaken for the inside of a
forge.  A wisp of smoke drifted out of his left ear, a >FLASH<
and he was slightly smudgy looking - but the hangover was gone.

"What was THAT?"  he demanded, putting the mug down on the table
as if it were a beaker of poison.

"You took in too much fire last night, I gave you something to make
it burn off quickly."  He grinned again.

"Oh."  The sword-giant sat back down.  He felt almost - human?

Valgar leaned forward, cradling his head.  "I could use some of that.
Gods, 'Raelf, you didn't warn me about that Catamount Porter."

"Sorry.  Here you go.  Skoal."  'Raelf poured out a small amount of
the same liquid.  Valgar didn't scream in pain, or anything, but he
did shudder, and a flush of red washed over his face.  He recovered.

"Thanks, m'friend.  Say, could you ... mend? ... this?"  Valgar
held up his denim jacket, where the gargoyle had sliced it open the
night before.  The rip was gone.  'Raelf grinned at his puzzlement.

"Hey, my work comes with a ga-ron-tee.  The clothes can handle the
everyday wear and tear.  Weaver's Rune sewn into them.  But it takes
a little while to get over more serious damage.  Just give 'em time,
they'll pass muster."

"So, what's comin' down the 'pike, guys?"  'Raelf dug into a second
helping of the fried shredded tuber.

Lancos shifted in his chair.  "Well, we're not quite sure.  Your news
last night, for one thing.  And I've got someone to introduce, he's
had a sort of magical experience that showed TrueSilver."

Valgar gestured.  "Would that be the man who did the clay things?"
At Lancos' nod, he continued.  "I saw him come out during the fight,
tried to help get rid of the diamond thing.  Didn't work, so he went
back inside.  Sensible."

'Raelf grinned.  "Hey, I almost forgot.  Remember when I chowed on the
gargoyles, last night?"

The others got distinctly uncomfortable looks on their faces.

"Well, hey, they asked for it.  Besides, Kadrys did the same kinda
stuff.  Anyway.  One of them knew where they kept their treasure in
their lair.  I brought it in; ought to help defray costs a bit, and
as I contain whats left of the flock, I'm entitled to dispose of it."

He pulled his bandolier off over his head.  The flat case of the
MageFamiliar 500 came out, followed by an iron box much too large
to fit in that space, and then a sword in its sheath.  ShockWave
looked up in interest.

"Anyone want a cheap sword?  This one's magical, but not to any great
extent.  Nothing fancy."  'Raelf placed it on the table in an empty spot.

The sword-giant slumped back into his seat.  His stomach rumbled.
"What's that sound?  I'm making noises.  I feel weird."

Lancos looked curiously at him.  "I don't know how to say this politely,
but have you, er, used the chamberpot today?"

"What, you mean, eliminated bodily wastes?  Of course.  I may be new at
this, but I'm certainly not unobservant, and I have been around for
quite some time.  I do know what embarrasing things you biologicals have
to do to keep functioning."

He sniffed, experimentally, at the plates of food.  "Is this what you
mean by, hungry enough to eat a bear?  I used to think that was a
horrible expression, but I think it makes more sense to me now."

Valgar reached another rasher of bacon off the plate, before the giant
could take it all.  'Raelf grabbed for another, then cleared his throat.

"So, I gotta ask a question, guys.  Alita, you remember, the blue dame
with the REALLY friendly attitude, and the very distant relationship
with truth?  Well, she wants to join us.  I couldn't tell if it's because
she wants to help find the dragon, or she wants to get back at Krastin
and his boss.  Both good motives though."

There were expressions of varied dismay and shock around the table.

"No, really, I'm for it.  If she's with us, she won't be off somewhere
else getting ready to stab us in the back, 'specially if we're watching
her.  I don't want to get her MAD at us, and watching the way she moved
last night, she can take care of herself.  She had one of the biggest
muggers I ever saw pissing in his pants hoping she wouldn't see him.
So, even though I don't really TRUST her, and I can really do without
the constant come-ons, I think she'd be a good addition."

Lancos fidgeted with a chesspiece.  "Yeah, well, I feel kind of funny
about that too.  I wanted to introduce this guy I met last night, well,
it seems to me he should be with us.  I'm not at all sure why, though."

They ate a bit more, then Lancos cleared his plates away, and got out
his chess pieces.  He set up a pattern, mostly to help clear his mind.

"Oh, hey, forgot.  There's the stuff in this box."  'Raelf opened the
lid.  A middling heap of gold and silver coins lay within, and some rings
and jewelry in a small pouch.  "This ring here, is a cloaking device.
Makes you invisible, while you have it on.  Seems to be the usual old
fragile spell, if you want to get someone's attention, you can, just
by touching them.  So don't try to beat up on anyone while wearing it."
He placed the ring in the center of the table next to the sword.

'Raelf began watching Lancos game with himself, and asking about the
various pieces movement.  He reached for a pawn, brushing ??? THROUGH
LANCOS' HAND?  - he pulled back, startled.  Oh, yeah, the amulet that
the I'm_Not_A_Ranger was wearing.

"Hey, dude, what is it with you and that amulet?"

"Oh, nothing.  I just feel safer with it on."

"Lancos, it really makes me nervous.  What if we got into a fight, and
you got knocked out wearing that thing?  I couldn't heal you then."

"Oh, come on, 'Raelf, I've seen the stuff you do.  You could touch me
if you tried.  Besides, I've never even been close to unconscious while
using the amulet.  What's wrong with my having a bit of an edge?"

"Oh bloody hell.  Lancos, this isn't about you having an edge, this is
about using magic that you don't understand, without knowing the risks.
This is about being concerned about a friend.  You have this amulet, and
when you put it on, your personality gets different, a bit colder and more
arrogant.  I want to know why that is.  You don't know what it really does,
or how, it might be black magic, it might be taking your life-force.  You
might even be getting addicted.  Dude, if YOU don't know what it does, then
*I* can't say it's safe for me to touch you with it on."

Lancos sat back a moment, but before he could reply, William came down
from the rooms upstairs.