Geek Insults
- 0K memory
- 1 cylinder mind
- 12 shy of a dozen
- A bad spot on the disk.
- A couple of open splices.
- A few beers short of a six-pack.
- A few bits shy of a word.
- A few bricks shy of a load.
- A few cans short of a six pack.
- A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
- A little light in his loafers.
- A loose chip on the micro processor.
- A quart low.
- About as bright as an LED.
- About as sharp as a bowl of jello.
- About as sharp as a bowling ball.
- About as sharp as a sack of wet leather.
- About fifteen cents short.
- About three cents short of a dollar.
- Air between the ears.
- All booster - no payload.
- All crown - no filling.
- All his eggs in the same basket.
- All his marbles in one bag.
- All the lights don't shine in his marquis
- An 8080 in a 68000 environment
- As thick as two short planks.
- Attic's a little dusty.
- Back burners not fully operating.
- Bad spot on the disk.
- Banking at 9 a.m. (not meaningful since advent of ATMs)
- Bats in the belfry
- Been playing with his wand too much.
- Body by Fisher - brains by Mattel
- Braindamaged (courtesy of Bill Cosby, Himself)
- Braindead
- CPU not connected to the bus.
- Car's only got three wheels, and one's going flat.
- Crazy as a loon.
- Crazy as all get out.
- Doesn't have all his dogs barking.
- Doesn't have all of his groceries in the same bag.
- Doesn't have all the dots on his dice.
- Doesn't have both oars in the water.
- Doesn't know if his biscuits (bread) are (is) all done.
- Doesn't know which side of the toast the butter is on.
- Don't have all your dogs barking.
- Doesn't have enough sandwiches for a picnic.
- Driving with two wheels in the sand.
- Dumb as a box of rocks.
- Echoes between the ears.
- Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.
- Elevator doesn't go to the top floor.
- Elevator doesn't make it to the penthouse.
- Got a few tiles missing from his Space Shuttle.
- Got a screw loose.
- Got one boot stuck in the sand.
- Got the mental agility of a soap dish.
- Had a head crash.
- Half a brick short of a full load.
- Half a bubble off plumb.
- Half a quart low.
- Has a few screws loose.
- Has a mind like a sieve
- Has a room temperature IQ.
- Has bats in his/her belfry.
- Hasn't got all his china in the cupboard.
- Hasn't got enough sense to come in out of the rain.
- Hasn't got enough sense to stay out in the rain. ('60s flower child)
- He ain't wrapped too tight.
- He doesn't have both oars in the water.
- He has both oars in the water, but on the same side of the boat!
- He has signs on both ears saying Space for Rent
- He has two brains. One is lost and the other is out looking for it.
- He is only hitting on 7 cylinders.
- He is playing hockey with a warped puck
- He isn't playing with a full deck.
- He left the store without all of his groceries.
- He lost his trollies
- He parked his head and forgot where he left it.
- He's a a few bricks short of a full load
- He's a couple of bricks short of a hod.
- He's a couple of volts below threshold
- He's about a half a bubble off plumb.
- He's about as smart as bait...
- He's dumber than a red brick.
- He's flying on one engine.
- He's got a few wait states.
- He's got a mind like a steel trap - anything entering gets crushed and mangled
- He's got a mind like a steel trap -- full of mice.
- He's got a mind like a steel trap -- rusty and stuck closed.
- He's got the attention span of an overripe grapefruit.
- He's half a bubble off plumb
- He's not digging in the same ditch with the rest of us!
- He's not running on full thrusters.
- He's paged-out.
- He's reading off a empty disk
- He's running at 400 baud
- He's swapped out.
- He's two tacos short of a combination plate.
- He's working with an unformatted disk
- Her antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.
- His chimney's clogged.
- His elevator doesn't go all the way to the top.
- His elevator doesn't make it to the penthouse.
- His elevator doesn't make it to the top floor
- His elevator doesn't stop at every floor.
- His elevator is stuck between floors.
- His little red choo choo done jumped the track.
- His receiver is off the hook.
- His skylight leaks a little.
- His/her dialing thumb must be broken.
- His/her reset line is glitching.
- How 'bout There's no wind in the windmills of his mind. and Someone
- How about The porch light is on, but there's nobody home
- If (his/her) IQ was 2 points higher (he/she) would be a rock.
- If brains were dynamite he couldn't blow his hat off.
- If brains were dynamite, he/she wouldn't have enough to blow his/her nose.
- If he had another brain, it'd be lonely.
- If he were any more stupid, he would have to be watered twice a week.
- In a world of Hard Disks, he/she is using a 1S-2D floppy for brains.
- In the shopping mall of the mind, he's in the toy department.
- Isn't playing with a full deck.
- It would be easier to count the bricks left than the bricks missing!
- Judging by the old saying, "What you don't know can't hurt you", s/he's practically invulnerable.
- Leads 3 & 4 (RS-232) permanently connected to ground.
- Light not burning too bright.
- Lights are on but noone's home
- Looney tunes.
- Loony as a jay bird.
- Loose chip in the micro processor.
- Loose wire to headset/ringer.
- Lugnuts rattling in the hubcaps.
- Mainspring's wound too tight.
- Missing a few catalog cards.
- Missing a few gears.
- Missing a few marbles.
- Mouth is in gear, brain is in neutral.
- Nice house not much furniture.
- Nice house, but nobody home.
- Nice house, nobody home.
- Nine pence in the shilling.
- No one at the throttle.
- Not firing on all four (six) (eight) cylinders.
- Not firing on all thrusters..
- Not hitting on all cylinders.
- Not playing with a full deck.
- Not playing with a full deck? hell he's not even in the game!
- Not too tightly wrapped.
- Nothing between the stethoscopes.
- Nutty as a fruitcake
- Off his/her rocker.
- Off your rocker.
- Oil doesn't reach his dipstick
- On the batting end of a no-hitter.
- One brick shy of a load.
- One shingle shy a roof.
- Only got one oar in the water.
- Only operating at about half a watt.
- Only playing with 51 cards.
- Only playing with the jokers.
- Over the Rainbow
- Paddling with one oar.
- Paralyzed from the neck up.
- Pin 8 is floating.
- Playing hockey with a warped puck.
- Raw cookie dough.
- Renewable energy source for hot air balloons.
- Riding a tippy canoe.
- Running on empty.
- Sailboat fuel for brains.
- Sending back packets, but the checksums are wrong.
- Sharp as a bowling ball.
- She was minus so many buttons ...
- Short a few cards.
- Six bricks short of a full load.
- Six shy of a dozen.
- Skating on the wrong side of the ice.
- Some bugs in his software.
- Some drink form the fountain of knowledge, but he just gargled.
- Somebody else is doing the driving for that boy!
- Someone blew out his pilot light
- Surfing in Nebraska
- Teflon brain (nothing sticks)
- The best part of you ran down your mother's legs. (Jackie Gleason)
- The brains of a house plant
- The caboose seems to be pulling the engine.
- The carnival has closed.
- The cheese has slid off his cracker.
- The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
- The going got weird and he turned pro.
- The lights are on but nobody's home.
- The smoke doesn't make it to the top of his chimney.
- The synapses are about that far apart.
- There's a leak in his ceiling
- Thick as a brick.
- Too much yardage between the goal posts.
- Toys in the attic
- Two bits shy of a word.
- Vacancy on the top floor.
- Was hiding behind the door when they passed out brains.
- Was napping in the nut pile the day that God was cracking nuts.
- Welcome light on, but noone home.
- When he plays poker, it's hard to tell whether he has an ace up his sleeve or if the ace is missing from his deck altogether.
- You can hear the wind whistling through his ears.
- You probably like to do everything the hard way... like making love while standing up in a hammock.
- Your clock doesn't have all its numbers.
- Your little red choo-choo's gone chugging 'round the bend.
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Last modified: Wed Mar 31 23:34:13 PST 1999