Sent: Monday, June 26, 2000 1:57 PM
To:   jsexton

> Investigators at a major research institution have discovered the heaviest
> element known to science. This startling new discovery has been
> tentatively
> named Administratium (Ad).
> This new element has no protons or electrons, thus having an atomic number
> of 0. It does, however, have 1 neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice
> neutrons, and 111 assistant vice neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of
> 312.
> These 312 particles are held together by a force called morons, which are
> surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since
> it has no electrons, Administratium is inert.
> However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it
> comes
> into contact. According to the discoverers, a minute amount of
> Administratium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when
> it would normally take less than a second.
> Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately three years; it
> does
> not decay but instead undergoes a restructuring in which a portion of the
> assistant neutrons, vice neutrons, and assistant vice neutrons exchange
> places. In fact, an Administratium sample's mass will actually increase
> over
> time, since with each restructure some of the morons inevitably become
> neutrons, forming new isotopes.
> This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to speculate
> that Administratium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in
> concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as the "Critical
> Morass".
> You will know it when you see it.


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