SpongeBob Brainwashes Kids?

So, apparently SpongeBob, Diana Ross, Whoopi Goldberg, the Souther Poverty Law Center, Bill Cosby, all the Muppets, Arthur, Clifford and one-time Bowie guitarist Niles Rodgers are all pro-homosexual! It's a huge conspiracy, of which Nickelodeon, the public school systems, and several major broadcast networks are all participants.

What am I talking about? Here's an excerpt from the story of SpongeBob GayPants:

WASHINGTON - A music video promoting tolerance of others and featuring cartoon character SpongeBob SquarePants is under fire from several U.S. religious groups, who charge that the "pro-homosexual video" is an attempt to "brainwash" kids.

Dr. James C. Dobson, founder of religious group Focus on the Family, spoke of the video Tuesday evening at a black-tie dinner in Washington, criticizing what he called a "pro-homosexual video."

A DVD of the music video is set to be mailed out to U.S. elementary schools along with educational lesson plans developed in collaboration with the Anti-Defamation League and a "tolerance pledge" that includes a mention of tolerance for different sexual identities. Barney, Clifford, Arthur, characters from Sesame Street and The Muppet Show, Bill Cosby, Diana Ross and Whoopi Goldberg also appear in the footage.

The work itself, which has already appeared on several TV networks, doesn't include any reference to sexual identity. Though not mentioned on the video, the "tolerance pledge" . which is borrowed from the Alabama-based Southern Poverty Law Center . is available on the foundation's website.

Who knows, maybe even President Bush is part of this. I mean, after all he
mentioned this during his inauguration:

There is only one force of history that can break the reign of hatred and resentment and expose the pretensions of tyrants and reward the hopes of the decent and tolerant. And that is the force of human freedom.

Also, Stan Lee (who's smiling about something else) was a major force in comics in the 20th century may have influenced SpongeBob in his alleged homosexuality. After all, the article alleges:

Critics have previously suggested that the yellow sponge character is gay, pointing to his affectionate relationship with his sidekick Patrick and his
favourite TV show, The Adventures of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy.